the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
