"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
