Ketchup is God's man juice
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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