addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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