so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
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