Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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