Four minutes until I can fart!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
