This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
