I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
