So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
