I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
My penis needs a shock collar
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
