We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
