we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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