So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
