I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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