We're facebook friends in real life
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
