My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
