I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I pour the whiskey from now on
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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