he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
