gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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