take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize