I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
