I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
