i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
