Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
