So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I think your dad took our porno
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
