The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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