You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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