I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
