His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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