Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
