last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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