Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
