Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
