Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize