i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
