You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
