My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize