Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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