Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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