He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize