I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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