Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
