Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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