I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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