the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
