he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize