he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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