xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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