I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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