Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(425): View more from Washington

i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....

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(718): View more from New York

what happened last night?

(917): View more from New York City

u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style

(718): View more from New York

that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left

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(952): View more from Minnesota

Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home

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(925): View more from California

Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!

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