I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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