Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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