do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
