I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Randomize
