new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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