he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
