youre lurking in front of me
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Can you bring me the toilet please
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
