I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
