Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
