he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
